Friday, May 20
I received a telephone call last night, well two actually but we will start with the first one… this person we shall call them Jack, calls and its saying male impersonator of Jack has called with an invite for a beer, then goes on to ask what to do. Now anyone one who even has a remote clue as to who I am, knows that I should be el numero uno on the DO NOT call with a boy question list, not the do call list.. Now Jack is my idol is the stupid boy department anyway, she is tough to them on the outside she doesn’t allow them to crack the shell, and she always sees what is going to happen and is usually prepared for it… so I say where the hell is Crittle and what did you do with her Jack! Did she go to the Bahamas?? (if only she could vacation to me and teach me a thing or two) Anyway our conversation went no where, however my ultimate conclusion was that she should not go and invite them over tonight. So some how she thought she was doing the opposite of what I said and did exactly what I thought she should do! Ha silly silly girl… I tricked you! Do as I say not as I do……..
Now onto the second strange phone call….
The nose has been in and out of my life for ten year or so. Called to see if there were any new developments with The Cop, and to apparently bitch some more about how bad his life is up there ( he is 10 + hours away) and how he is going to come home “soon”. Now I would love for him to come back, because I do love him however, our recent conversations almost have a more then friend twist to them that slightly bothers me. One reason I believe this is a question that he threw out there “why are you trying to date anyone anyway” to which I responded “ok so I will be alone forever” his response “I will be down there soon and I will take care of you” For petes sake his son is named after my children’s father. Could you imagine the up roar that would cause? And also I don’t see myself wanting that with him. Well I truly don’t want anything with anyone except one, and lets me honest here I would probably ruin that too. We all know that I am really good at that.
How have I become what I despise most in others? How have I allowed one person to take the best of me, my ability to trust and love and above all else be loved? I suppose that throughout those 7 years it just happened. I thought that maybe it was overcome, but the loss of my brother just made all that clearer to me, this is a terrible world that we live in and sometimes life just isn’t fair. I am not playing the game anymore.
Now onto the second strange phone call….
The nose has been in and out of my life for ten year or so. Called to see if there were any new developments with The Cop, and to apparently bitch some more about how bad his life is up there ( he is 10 + hours away) and how he is going to come home “soon”. Now I would love for him to come back, because I do love him however, our recent conversations almost have a more then friend twist to them that slightly bothers me. One reason I believe this is a question that he threw out there “why are you trying to date anyone anyway” to which I responded “ok so I will be alone forever” his response “I will be down there soon and I will take care of you” For petes sake his son is named after my children’s father. Could you imagine the up roar that would cause? And also I don’t see myself wanting that with him. Well I truly don’t want anything with anyone except one, and lets me honest here I would probably ruin that too. We all know that I am really good at that.
How have I become what I despise most in others? How have I allowed one person to take the best of me, my ability to trust and love and above all else be loved? I suppose that throughout those 7 years it just happened. I thought that maybe it was overcome, but the loss of my brother just made all that clearer to me, this is a terrible world that we live in and sometimes life just isn’t fair. I am not playing the game anymore.
