Tuesday, November 30
Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Thanksgiving was nice; my cousin's were in town. My Aunt got married on Saturday; it was a nice little ceremony. For some unforeseen reason it has made me want to be married. One day of course not tomorrow but one day soon. That is weird as I had sworn all of that crap off. Oh well what can you do?
I didn't want to go to Thanksgiving. I was almost there and decided that I wanted to go home. The break down that I was having in the car sucked and I didn't want to walk into my Grammy's looking like a big crybaby. Unnamed flava was following me and said that I should probably go because I was almost there. And he would be there with me, to help me through. So I went. It was just really odd John not being there, he is always there at Thanksgiving. And this year he wasn't and he will never be again. And that just sucks.
Thursday night my roommate and I put up the Christmas lights outside. Then unnamed flava and his roommate came over and helped. It was really fun and I needed that. Sunday we went and got our Christmas tree:
So we are in the lot and searching for the perfect tree and T. Keeps saying "I like this tree with the tall trunk" and I said that I didn't that that it was big enough. So we continue to look around, and by this point looking at the price tags is beginning to make me think that I should go cut down my own tree (have you actually looked at the prices) so finally I say ok lets get this one tree that she keeps going back to (much props to unnamed flava and flava's roommate for wrangling the munchkins) So we get the tree home and at the lot they put the tree in this net thing so it doesn't fly off your car. Unnamed flava had to take the roommate to work so he left and of course we couldn't wait for him to get back to help us get the "small" tree off the top of my car. Which by the way the tree is starting not to look so small. And this must be the prickliest tree ever so we are bringing the tree in as it cuts us to shreds. We amazingly get the tree in the stand. So now its time to take off the net no big deal right... Until our whole dining room is full of tree, it was like national lampoon's this tree is sooo BIG that it is ridiculous. And we were like whoa that is a big tree what are we going to do with that. So unnamed flava returned and we decorated the tree and everything is nice.
What is wrong with me, I am so happy when he is near me that I can't even bear it. and I always want him there. it's defiantly strange, and so not like me. I don't know, but I like it!
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Thanksgiving was nice; my cousin's were in town. My Aunt got married on Saturday; it was a nice little ceremony. For some unforeseen reason it has made me want to be married. One day of course not tomorrow but one day soon. That is weird as I had sworn all of that crap off. Oh well what can you do?
I didn't want to go to Thanksgiving. I was almost there and decided that I wanted to go home. The break down that I was having in the car sucked and I didn't want to walk into my Grammy's looking like a big crybaby. Unnamed flava was following me and said that I should probably go because I was almost there. And he would be there with me, to help me through. So I went. It was just really odd John not being there, he is always there at Thanksgiving. And this year he wasn't and he will never be again. And that just sucks.
Thursday night my roommate and I put up the Christmas lights outside. Then unnamed flava and his roommate came over and helped. It was really fun and I needed that. Sunday we went and got our Christmas tree:
So we are in the lot and searching for the perfect tree and T. Keeps saying "I like this tree with the tall trunk" and I said that I didn't that that it was big enough. So we continue to look around, and by this point looking at the price tags is beginning to make me think that I should go cut down my own tree (have you actually looked at the prices) so finally I say ok lets get this one tree that she keeps going back to (much props to unnamed flava and flava's roommate for wrangling the munchkins) So we get the tree home and at the lot they put the tree in this net thing so it doesn't fly off your car. Unnamed flava had to take the roommate to work so he left and of course we couldn't wait for him to get back to help us get the "small" tree off the top of my car. Which by the way the tree is starting not to look so small. And this must be the prickliest tree ever so we are bringing the tree in as it cuts us to shreds. We amazingly get the tree in the stand. So now its time to take off the net no big deal right... Until our whole dining room is full of tree, it was like national lampoon's this tree is sooo BIG that it is ridiculous. And we were like whoa that is a big tree what are we going to do with that. So unnamed flava returned and we decorated the tree and everything is nice.
What is wrong with me, I am so happy when he is near me that I can't even bear it. and I always want him there. it's defiantly strange, and so not like me. I don't know, but I like it!
Monday, November 29
Manic Monday!
it will be over in 5 minutes thank goodness!!!!!! too busy to update today will tomorrow. I hope everyone had a great turkey day!
Tuesday, November 23
Quote of the day :
Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.
-Keith Urban
Thanks C.
Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.
-Keith Urban
Thanks C.
Go eat donuts... Don't bother me!
Tuesday’s are dumb
Saturday was fabulous. I had a blast with Bevins and Clinta and (J.) my lip-gloss baby. I also met the hairdresser whom I love, and he will now be my hairdresser once I call him. He caused be to bust a rhyme …. Get’on de boat de banana boat…. Because he had this kick boody YELLOW truck.. anyway he is fabulous. However the night did tend to take a turn for the worse when I became a pawn between this couple. Prime example of this being j. and we will call him Norman likes to aggravate his other half so p.(we shall call him brat) says to Norman lets go dance and Norman tells Brat no I don’t want to and then turns around and says come on Sarah lets dance. So naturally this angers brat and she starts pitching a fit and then I didn’t know what was going on because I was being pulled so I had to leave. Then unnamed flava got mad at me because I was wasted and he had to come get me from the club and I wanted to walk home but some people that I was talking to that were outside with me wouldn’t let me… so I didn’t which is probably better, but however!
So its official I have a Boyfriend and I can say it and not pass out. I am happy.
So I will be putting the pictures from the party here on the blogspot just as soon as I have the ones that were taken early in the evening so that I don’t look wasted and I’m not licking any strange women. Bartender or not I shouldn’t be licking people I don’t know its not sanitary.
Also today is crap because I got two tickets before I had even spoken two words… DUMB cops!
Saturday was fabulous. I had a blast with Bevins and Clinta and (J.) my lip-gloss baby. I also met the hairdresser whom I love, and he will now be my hairdresser once I call him. He caused be to bust a rhyme …. Get’on de boat de banana boat…. Because he had this kick boody YELLOW truck.. anyway he is fabulous. However the night did tend to take a turn for the worse when I became a pawn between this couple. Prime example of this being j. and we will call him Norman likes to aggravate his other half so p.(we shall call him brat) says to Norman lets go dance and Norman tells Brat no I don’t want to and then turns around and says come on Sarah lets dance. So naturally this angers brat and she starts pitching a fit and then I didn’t know what was going on because I was being pulled so I had to leave. Then unnamed flava got mad at me because I was wasted and he had to come get me from the club and I wanted to walk home but some people that I was talking to that were outside with me wouldn’t let me… so I didn’t which is probably better, but however!
So its official I have a Boyfriend and I can say it and not pass out. I am happy.
So I will be putting the pictures from the party here on the blogspot just as soon as I have the ones that were taken early in the evening so that I don’t look wasted and I’m not licking any strange women. Bartender or not I shouldn’t be licking people I don’t know its not sanitary.
Also today is crap because I got two tickets before I had even spoken two words… DUMB cops!
Friday, November 19
Friday, Friday, Friday--- Crack open an adult beverage
Thank Golly it’s Friday!
Well as if this past month or so hasn’t been bad enough, Crittle advises me so kindly that J.E. may be shipped off to Iraq. I say no to that and that he will be kidnapped.
Dumb President!
Unnamed flava stayed over last night, I forgot how nice it was to snuggle with someone. I never cared about snuggling before, I feel like I could stay snuggled under his arms forever. YIKES!!!! I am so scared to be so vulnerable. I miss him already.
I have the worst sinus headache that is slowly BUT surely becoming a migraine. I wish I could leave.. 4.5 more hours.
Quote of the day: Life is not always a matter of being dealt a winning hand, but sometimes, of playing a poor hand well.
Jack London----- Thanks Clinta
Song of the day: Whats the story Morning glory- Oasis
Well as if this past month or so hasn’t been bad enough, Crittle advises me so kindly that J.E. may be shipped off to Iraq. I say no to that and that he will be kidnapped.
Dumb President!
Unnamed flava stayed over last night, I forgot how nice it was to snuggle with someone. I never cared about snuggling before, I feel like I could stay snuggled under his arms forever. YIKES!!!! I am so scared to be so vulnerable. I miss him already.
I have the worst sinus headache that is slowly BUT surely becoming a migraine. I wish I could leave.. 4.5 more hours.
Quote of the day: Life is not always a matter of being dealt a winning hand, but sometimes, of playing a poor hand well.
Jack London----- Thanks Clinta
Song of the day: Whats the story Morning glory- Oasis
Wednesday, November 17
Happy Hump day to all and to all a hump night!
Wow this is insane I am in a great mood today. It’s almost eerie.
Bevins and I are going shopping Friday after work so that I can look just divine for his party on Saturday.
My unnamed flava is moving today, he will be just around the corner now. And I think that is just excellent. So my mom calls last night and she is so hilarious, she says “when you bring b. (unnamed flava) to thanksgiving I will make sure that I look presentable”, and I was like mom who said I was bringing him, then she says “ Aunt Colleen said for you to invite him as your guest to the wedding” (she is getting married Saturday after thanksgiving) I was like MOM I haven’t even asked him, what if he has plans for thanksgiving maybe he has a FAMILY or something! She is so funny to her its like no one else has a family but us. So I mentioned it to him last night while I was asleep and talking to him. I think he said something about having to visit his family… imagine that! So I will have to try once again to educate my mother.
My cousin and her boyfriend will be here for Thanksgiving, I am rather excited about this as I miss her even though she was just here in August. We have literally been friends our whole lives. I wish she lived here. We have so much fun together. I hope she likes said unnamed flava.
My necklace is making me mad. It keeps spinning.
Quote of the Day : Work smarter, not harder – Scrooge McDuck
Props to C.
Wow this is insane I am in a great mood today. It’s almost eerie.
Bevins and I are going shopping Friday after work so that I can look just divine for his party on Saturday.
My unnamed flava is moving today, he will be just around the corner now. And I think that is just excellent. So my mom calls last night and she is so hilarious, she says “when you bring b. (unnamed flava) to thanksgiving I will make sure that I look presentable”, and I was like mom who said I was bringing him, then she says “ Aunt Colleen said for you to invite him as your guest to the wedding” (she is getting married Saturday after thanksgiving) I was like MOM I haven’t even asked him, what if he has plans for thanksgiving maybe he has a FAMILY or something! She is so funny to her its like no one else has a family but us. So I mentioned it to him last night while I was asleep and talking to him. I think he said something about having to visit his family… imagine that! So I will have to try once again to educate my mother.
My cousin and her boyfriend will be here for Thanksgiving, I am rather excited about this as I miss her even though she was just here in August. We have literally been friends our whole lives. I wish she lived here. We have so much fun together. I hope she likes said unnamed flava.
My necklace is making me mad. It keeps spinning.
Quote of the Day : Work smarter, not harder – Scrooge McDuck
Props to C.
Tuesday, November 16
Just call me @$$hole!
Alright…. You are now listening to an idiot ramble….. So I get an email from another rep on the floor, asking me to call this provider back that I had been talking to. So I of course was going to do it, but I was angry because when I get a call I finish it I don’t ship it off to someone else, even if they were working on it. So I MEANT to forward the email to my senior to ask for time off the phone to handle the inquiry so my reply is as follows…..” why can't anyone handle something on there own!!!!!!!! when there is a chance may I work on this? “……Well then I happen to notice that it is opened.. Not by my senior who the message was intended for but the person who sent it to me. AHHHHH…. So I am yelling for my senior and it turns out she used to be one of her reps yada yada yada but still I am an asshole and I need to stop being so mean!
Flava-- Song of the day
Why Can't I - Liz Phair
Get a load of me, get a load of you
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you
It's just like we were meant to be
Holding hands with you, and we're out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right
And I've got someone waiting too
This is, this is just the beginning
We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me, Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Isn't this the best part of breakin' up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too
It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
But wouldn't it be beautiful
Here we are, we're at the beginning
We haven't fucked yet, but > heads spinning
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell meWhy can't I breathe whenever I think about you
I'd love for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'I'd love for you to pull me under
Somethin's growin'for this that we can control
Baby I am dyin'Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about youIt's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to itSo tell meWhy can't I breathe whenever I think about you....
There you have it ladies and gents, the song that is stuck in my head just thought I would sing to you!
Get a load of me, get a load of you
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you
It's just like we were meant to be
Holding hands with you, and we're out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right
And I've got someone waiting too
This is, this is just the beginning
We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me, Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Isn't this the best part of breakin' up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too
It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
But wouldn't it be beautiful
Here we are, we're at the beginning
We haven't fucked yet, but > heads spinning
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell meWhy can't I breathe whenever I think about you
I'd love for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'I'd love for you to pull me under
Somethin's growin'for this that we can control
Baby I am dyin'Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about youIt's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to itSo tell meWhy can't I breathe whenever I think about you....
There you have it ladies and gents, the song that is stuck in my head just thought I would sing to you!
I should have called in dead!
I thought about it but decided to be late instead. My first call which started at 8:50am when I got here just ended.... It is now 9:34am. AND she was stupid too. Have I mentioned that I hate this place!!!
So M.B. called me last night out of the blue which was strange as he hasn't spoken to mesince I turned him down and so I thought he was mad at me forever. Guess I was wrong so he did his usual acting like nothing is wrong and why would I be mad at him. He drives me crazy I shall hit him in his head and maybe he will grow some sense... But I find that highly unlikely!
So Unnamed Flava and I are moving right along I think, I really don't want to jinx this. He is by far the best guy that I have ever met. Bevins wants to meet him. I think I may arrange that, at some point. I don't ever remember feeling like this about anyone, and I can't even pin point what it is about him, its everything about him... Or nothing I don't know... its weird, but I like it!
I feel giddy, I am such a schmuck. crittle you need to fix this!
I miss my brother today, a lot, not sure what to do about this feeling, it won't go away.its kinda funny how one of the best people in my life left me, and now there is this greats guy. The world works in such a strange way, maybe that is John just telling me that everything will be okay. I hope so I have dealt with enough sadness this past month to last a lifetime and I just want for once to be happy is that so much to ask.
well I am about to get on the phone and hopefully not encounter mass quantities of incompetent people.
I thought about it but decided to be late instead. My first call which started at 8:50am when I got here just ended.... It is now 9:34am. AND she was stupid too. Have I mentioned that I hate this place!!!
So M.B. called me last night out of the blue which was strange as he hasn't spoken to mesince I turned him down and so I thought he was mad at me forever. Guess I was wrong so he did his usual acting like nothing is wrong and why would I be mad at him. He drives me crazy I shall hit him in his head and maybe he will grow some sense... But I find that highly unlikely!
So Unnamed Flava and I are moving right along I think, I really don't want to jinx this. He is by far the best guy that I have ever met. Bevins wants to meet him. I think I may arrange that, at some point. I don't ever remember feeling like this about anyone, and I can't even pin point what it is about him, its everything about him... Or nothing I don't know... its weird, but I like it!
I feel giddy, I am such a schmuck. crittle you need to fix this!
I miss my brother today, a lot, not sure what to do about this feeling, it won't go away.its kinda funny how one of the best people in my life left me, and now there is this greats guy. The world works in such a strange way, maybe that is John just telling me that everything will be okay. I hope so I have dealt with enough sadness this past month to last a lifetime and I just want for once to be happy is that so much to ask.
well I am about to get on the phone and hopefully not encounter mass quantities of incompetent people.
Monday, November 15
I think that maine stinks!
Sometimes there are points in my day, where I really (I mean really) have to consider that there are some people in this world who were just born so completely incompetent that there is no coming back.... Now would be one of those times..........
Monday, Monday ..... I really don't mind monday's except for the fact that I have to come to work. If I didn't have to come to work I would love Monday's, psh! who am I trying to kid I would love anyday that I didn't have to come to work!
So my weekend was great! slightly depressing but all things considered it went well.Saturday I went to this festival which was a fund raiser for a man that I know (how you mightbe wondering, I'll get to that) because his ex-wife and two daughters got into a car accident and his ex-wife and youngest daughter passed away and his oldest daughter has some pretty bad injuries. so that was sad also I have an axiety attack being as though the last timeI saw him was 6 years ago when I slept with him and so I didn't even recognize him nor him me, until the mutual friend that we share and he was talking to us, then he walked away and then he came back, walked away again and then he came back and did the eyebrow raise thing and so I felt that I should say something since at that point he obviously realized who I was. So I said "how are you?" and he said hanging in there, and now by this point I have no air leftin my body and I was feeling really uncomfertable so we left. and I was better, sorta.
Well unnamed flava spent the weekend. It was nice, Saturday night we sat in the backyardunder the gazebo and got drunk and talked for hours it was nice. I don't know what to doI am not liking that I like him so much. I know I will get hurt as usual. Red brick wall,Red brick wall..... who knows that probably won't work it didn't work for the Village of THe Damned people, what would make me think that it would work for me.
Next weekend is going to be a blast bevins man is turning 30 and its going to be so much fun! I have to find something to wear! Man and that always sucks because I have noclothes, maybe I will buy something... hey that's a thought.
Quote of the day: Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
So my weekend was great! slightly depressing but all things considered it went well.Saturday I went to this festival which was a fund raiser for a man that I know (how you mightbe wondering, I'll get to that) because his ex-wife and two daughters got into a car accident and his ex-wife and youngest daughter passed away and his oldest daughter has some pretty bad injuries. so that was sad also I have an axiety attack being as though the last timeI saw him was 6 years ago when I slept with him and so I didn't even recognize him nor him me, until the mutual friend that we share and he was talking to us, then he walked away and then he came back, walked away again and then he came back and did the eyebrow raise thing and so I felt that I should say something since at that point he obviously realized who I was. So I said "how are you?" and he said hanging in there, and now by this point I have no air leftin my body and I was feeling really uncomfertable so we left. and I was better, sorta.
Well unnamed flava spent the weekend. It was nice, Saturday night we sat in the backyardunder the gazebo and got drunk and talked for hours it was nice. I don't know what to doI am not liking that I like him so much. I know I will get hurt as usual. Red brick wall,Red brick wall..... who knows that probably won't work it didn't work for the Village of THe Damned people, what would make me think that it would work for me.
Next weekend is going to be a blast bevins man is turning 30 and its going to be so much fun! I have to find something to wear! Man and that always sucks because I have noclothes, maybe I will buy something... hey that's a thought.
Quote of the day: Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
Friday, November 12
So yesterday I went to a family function for my uncle that is in town but is departing today. I also feel really bad that I wasn't able to spend anytime with him but I couldn't take off because I used all of my time when my brother died. But whatever he is great and I will go hide in his basement. I love him because he said that I could.
unnamed flava is going to go horse back riding with us tomorrow. I am glad I miss him.that is dumb as well because I barely know him.
Lately I have been so morbid to the point of exhaustion. Last night I was so upset and boo-hooing to my poor clueless son, about how I will always love him. I have had the gutwrenching feeling that I am either going to catch the next bobonic plague or get hit by a car. Which is rather ridiculas because you can't live your life paraniod about dying. I just don't want to leave my children with no one. So I will get this figured out one way or the other.
Today is Friday thank the good lord for that!
Quote of the day: Friendship is no big thing. It's lots of little things.
unnamed flava is going to go horse back riding with us tomorrow. I am glad I miss him.that is dumb as well because I barely know him.
Lately I have been so morbid to the point of exhaustion. Last night I was so upset and boo-hooing to my poor clueless son, about how I will always love him. I have had the gutwrenching feeling that I am either going to catch the next bobonic plague or get hit by a car. Which is rather ridiculas because you can't live your life paraniod about dying. I just don't want to leave my children with no one. So I will get this figured out one way or the other.
Today is Friday thank the good lord for that!
Quote of the day: Friendship is no big thing. It's lots of little things.
Thursday, November 11
WEll hopefully today will be a good day in comparision to yesterday as I had a mild stroke when I dropped my daughter off to daycare and the woman so kindly reminded that she would be closed today, yahoooo that is just great who is going to watch my daughter... so thankfully my nieghbor at home who just so happens to be my nieghbor at work said that she was taking off and that she would watch my daughter....... thank god for nieghbors!!!!!!
Today has started out ok... I am sitting at my desk eating my fat-free cream cheese and ham on a bagel feeling rather excited as to how this day may play out. not sure why. I am supposed to go to a meeting but I don't want to so I won't. I hate meetings!!!!!
I miss my unnamed flava!
Hopefully I will talk to him today.
Quote of the Day :
"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else."
- Booker T. Washington
Today has started out ok... I am sitting at my desk eating my fat-free cream cheese and ham on a bagel feeling rather excited as to how this day may play out. not sure why. I am supposed to go to a meeting but I don't want to so I won't. I hate meetings!!!!!
I miss my unnamed flava!
Hopefully I will talk to him today.
Quote of the Day :
"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else."
- Booker T. Washington
Hence the title of web-site
Okay so I have a big sign that is attached to my forehead, or is it just this unsettling predisposition to be totally in love with any gay man that is unfortunate enough to cross my path. So bevins he is my gaybie the #1 gaybie there be none higher, oh bevins... okay so I think that you got it.... she really is the best, we were out friday and she was going to attack this really disgusting guy that wouldn't stop checking me out. he had his claws extended and everything. It sure is great to be loved! Clinta is number two and he is where all the great quotes come from.
Well fella I hope that was enough recognition for the quotes!
Eat cheez-its they are good!
Well fella I hope that was enough recognition for the quotes!
Eat cheez-its they are good!
Wednesday, November 10
Quote of the day----
Opportunity knocks only once but disaster leans on the doorbell! -
Opportunity knocks only once but disaster leans on the doorbell! -
The dreaded 9th
.........Well yesterday was a day......... All day I was in a terrible mood and I was just figuring that it may have had something to do with the fact that I am completely retarded and went to bed at 4 am and got up at 6 to go... where you might well be asking, that would be WORK (one of my better moves I am convinced) so then I realized that I am also PMSing so then I thought well there you have it everything will be bad today... Obviously when I made that statement I had no idea the date.... Then I said the date and it hit me. I still am not quite sure why it hit me so hard either I shouldn't care... I said November 9th and it was like bam! today would be your two year anniversary had you been stupid enough to get married or not smart enough to cancel it... either way you choose to look at it well I have to "stay focused" that is what my boss is telling me so I will continue this momentarily............
