Monday, July 4
I have been a very bad updater lately, sorry. I just have been sorta in this rut of sorts, One of the wierd ones where I want to pull out the game boy and play pokemon' until my thumbs fall off. unfortunatly I have misplaced my favortie stress reliever I think Joseph lost it :( oh well.
I did finally talk to the lobster. I was right, she left him. He sounded so broken. I just wanted to go up there and hold him and tell him that it was alright. but that can't happen. so I will just put him out of my mind. That is easiest.
We talked for hours about her, about him, about me, about my failed attempts for relationships, I cried. I cried because I miss him, I cried because he wanted me to talk about the last person I cared about, that rejection is still so fresh. I cried because he called him an asshole and said he didn't know what he was missing. I cried because I had to tell him that he knew all to well, that is why he isn't here. I tried to tell him how beautiful M. is and that he is truely a great guy and didn't intend to hurt my feelings, he cussed and said that men are scum (he should know) all of my conviencing didn't matter. so I wish he never asked me that question. You can't be mad a someone you don't know because he didn't want me and my mess of a life. I tried to tell him but he wouldn't listen..... I suppose there is nothing that I can do about it now.
Well it is about to pour down rain.... Happy freaking 4th of July!!!
I did finally talk to the lobster. I was right, she left him. He sounded so broken. I just wanted to go up there and hold him and tell him that it was alright. but that can't happen. so I will just put him out of my mind. That is easiest.
We talked for hours about her, about him, about me, about my failed attempts for relationships, I cried. I cried because I miss him, I cried because he wanted me to talk about the last person I cared about, that rejection is still so fresh. I cried because he called him an asshole and said he didn't know what he was missing. I cried because I had to tell him that he knew all to well, that is why he isn't here. I tried to tell him how beautiful M. is and that he is truely a great guy and didn't intend to hurt my feelings, he cussed and said that men are scum (he should know) all of my conviencing didn't matter. so I wish he never asked me that question. You can't be mad a someone you don't know because he didn't want me and my mess of a life. I tried to tell him but he wouldn't listen..... I suppose there is nothing that I can do about it now.
Well it is about to pour down rain.... Happy freaking 4th of July!!!
